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Dec. 21st, 2012


Dear Internet,

I know our love-hate relationship has been a rocky one over these past ten years or so, but I secretly love you very very much. Please do not listen to me when I call you obligatory racial slurs, please do not take offense to me throwing rocks in your general direction, please pay no mind to the exclamations of hate I proclaim during pregame lobbies/post midterm results/cleaning my junk box of vulgar promises to increase my manhood or free herbal amibien, xanax & diet pills. Have patience with my egocentric exploration of my lack of literary talent. Tolerate the horrible quality web cam photos I have snapped over the years, & the artistic flair for which I sell myself out on your cybernetic street corners. All the people I have anonymously verbally abused concealed behind your elusive ip. The software/movies/television shows/books/articles/magazines/photographs/plays/music/videogames/passwords I have acquired illegally through piracy through your connections. I apologize if this has ever brought you discomfort. & internet, thank you sincerely for all the connections [excuse the pun] you have brought to me, all those people all over this big huge world who like me, can’t live without your awful presence. I live inside you, internet, and I think I should apologize for that, or yell at you. Here’s to another god awful, tainted, and disturbingly accessible 10 years. Here’s to you, in all your horrific glory, you sick son of a bitch.

The Management,



Friends only.
I'm taking a break. 
July 4th, 2008
Celebrate your independance.


I can't forget anyone, I think about you everyday. I wonder if you have closure, if your doors are letting in any light? & do you miss me? Or could this be, the only way I could let you know that everything's alright?